Maxima Debetur Puero Reverentia

Yes, I know I'm posting two at the same time. GET OVER IT. BUT! Read the one underneath this first, in order to better understand my thought process for today.

Is there something about me that just screams "DISRESPECT ME"? Is it my age or my usual attempt at smiling when I look at people? Is it how I always am friendly to people and give them the respect I feel necessary without first knowing if they deserve it or not? I don't know. BUT! It seems that so many adults I meet feel the need to... well, prove they're older than me and therefore "superior," or something. This makes me start to revert back to my old philosophy that the worst thing about this life is the humans on it. I have gotten past that stage in my psychological frame, I believe, because I've begun to love everyone on this planet, regardless of me knowning them personally. SO! This brings me back to my original thought process... What am I supposed to do in a situation where I am continually disrespected? Act like it isn't happening and cower under their overbearing presence? Do I answer every statement of theirs with "Yes, sir," "yes, sir," "you are completely right, sir"? OR! Do I treat them as equals and disrespect them as they have me? Do I try to rationalize with them, despite how apathetic they are to every word of out of my mouth? Do I walk out into the cold, not having any sort of direction, in an attempt to figure these things out while listening to the music that generally calms me down, only to hear a single line that shoves in my face all of my recent thoughts causing me to almost break down in tears and instead decide to punch the nearest hard thing? Well, if you haven't already realized, I chose the latter path (after the "OR!".)

I dunno. I guess I'm going to sleep on this...

My pinky hurts...

*EDIT* Multiple of my fingers hurt... Probably not a good sign...

Somnus Planto Optimus Amicus

I know the ideas are a little vague or worded wrong, most of mine are. Especially when it's just the ideas/thoughts going through my head during another note session in Planning Your Future. QUIT COMPLAINING.

Why is sleep my immediate solution to everything? I guess because it passes time... For mostly any problem I'll tell people to just "give it time." In time things will be better. Well, most people don't enjoy waiting for that time to come. I am one of those people who suffer from impatience. My head just kind of fast forwards through things that are unwanted or unhappymaking/unenjoyful. Time is not a factor in my brain, but that's another subject for another time. Anyway, any time I am going through something like that, I can only think of how good sleep sounds at that particular moment. I'm always tired but I don't really think that is caused by a lack of sleep. I definitely get sufficient sleep at night. I'm fairly certain that I've just conditioned myself to sleep anytime I'm not doing something satisfying or enjoyable. Why do I think this way? Well, every time I'm bored, unhappy, stressed, annoyed, reading a text book, angry, etc. I start to strongly desire a break from consciousness. It passes time until I'm again in a favorable situation. That may be one of the reasons why for me the rest of this high school thing really feels like a waste of time. I come here and for the rest of the day I'm tired and I feel like I could be doing something much more beneficial like... well... sleeping.