Suggero Vestri Visio Mihi Plactum

A recent journal entry from Creative Writing. It was pretty much just following the starter sentence she gave us, yet with a bit of non-fiction thrown in.

Tuesday, March 30th.
My hand trembled as I punched the number into my cell phone. Hmm, I thought, why is it that I recently insist on punching things? Hard things, soft things, my friends and family, my hand just can't take anymore abuse. It already feels bruised down to the middle of my forearm. I guess it's just entertaining, ya know? Delicately pressing the buttons on a phone just doesn't give the same satisfaction as punching your phone repeatedly. It's a bit hard to get the hang of actually hitting the right numbers, but I feel that people find it pretty impressive to watch a man punch his way through his phone contacts. Maybe next I'll start head-butting the keys on my keyboard... I like the way my brain works.

Yeah, so I just felt like sharing that. I was thinking about it a few minutes ago when I realized that I wanted to punch something again. Probably not a good idea, for I have to actually get my hand checked out sometime soon. I karate chopped Marcus a few days ago or so, and since then my hand hasn't been able to withstand much pressure. It causes me pain. ALSO! My back. It hurts to lift things and to bend. Chiropractor? Maybs. I dunno. Some people say that's a bad idea. Maybe I just need to get some more exercise and build up my back muscles. I dunno. Well, anyway, I must bid you adieu, Mr. Blogspot. Peace, homie.

Maxima Debetur Puero Reverentia

Yes, I know I'm posting two at the same time. GET OVER IT. BUT! Read the one underneath this first, in order to better understand my thought process for today.

Is there something about me that just screams "DISRESPECT ME"? Is it my age or my usual attempt at smiling when I look at people? Is it how I always am friendly to people and give them the respect I feel necessary without first knowing if they deserve it or not? I don't know. BUT! It seems that so many adults I meet feel the need to... well, prove they're older than me and therefore "superior," or something. This makes me start to revert back to my old philosophy that the worst thing about this life is the humans on it. I have gotten past that stage in my psychological frame, I believe, because I've begun to love everyone on this planet, regardless of me knowning them personally. SO! This brings me back to my original thought process... What am I supposed to do in a situation where I am continually disrespected? Act like it isn't happening and cower under their overbearing presence? Do I answer every statement of theirs with "Yes, sir," "yes, sir," "you are completely right, sir"? OR! Do I treat them as equals and disrespect them as they have me? Do I try to rationalize with them, despite how apathetic they are to every word of out of my mouth? Do I walk out into the cold, not having any sort of direction, in an attempt to figure these things out while listening to the music that generally calms me down, only to hear a single line that shoves in my face all of my recent thoughts causing me to almost break down in tears and instead decide to punch the nearest hard thing? Well, if you haven't already realized, I chose the latter path (after the "OR!".)

I dunno. I guess I'm going to sleep on this...

My pinky hurts...

*EDIT* Multiple of my fingers hurt... Probably not a good sign...

Somnus Planto Optimus Amicus

I know the ideas are a little vague or worded wrong, most of mine are. Especially when it's just the ideas/thoughts going through my head during another note session in Planning Your Future. QUIT COMPLAINING.

Why is sleep my immediate solution to everything? I guess because it passes time... For mostly any problem I'll tell people to just "give it time." In time things will be better. Well, most people don't enjoy waiting for that time to come. I am one of those people who suffer from impatience. My head just kind of fast forwards through things that are unwanted or unhappymaking/unenjoyful. Time is not a factor in my brain, but that's another subject for another time. Anyway, any time I am going through something like that, I can only think of how good sleep sounds at that particular moment. I'm always tired but I don't really think that is caused by a lack of sleep. I definitely get sufficient sleep at night. I'm fairly certain that I've just conditioned myself to sleep anytime I'm not doing something satisfying or enjoyable. Why do I think this way? Well, every time I'm bored, unhappy, stressed, annoyed, reading a text book, angry, etc. I start to strongly desire a break from consciousness. It passes time until I'm again in a favorable situation. That may be one of the reasons why for me the rest of this high school thing really feels like a waste of time. I come here and for the rest of the day I'm tired and I feel like I could be doing something much more beneficial like... well... sleeping.

Intentio Vestri Posterus

Alright, so it's the middle of Planning Your Future, and we're "taking notes." This is the official blow-off class of Mason High School, for all of you who weren't aware of that. The odd thing about this pointless class? It's required! Well, one thing I've noticed that isn't so necessary in this class is taking notes. I did pretty damn well on my test without taking notes (even better than some who actually did,) and so Note Time has always been Nap Time. (Alliteration!) Why am I writing this, then, you ask? I got 12 hours of sleep last night. On top of that, I took one of those B-Vitamin pills that Lee suggested. They're supposed to give you more energy, keep you awake, or something silly like that. (EDIT: The bottle actually says it lowers the body's response to stress. Close enough.) Well, apparently, they work. I'm not tired. I'm yawning and my eyes want to close, but I'm just not really tired and I don't want to sleep. I think my body is just attempting to resist this whole "being awake" thing. Odd concept for me. I like my sleep, hence the 12 hours I achieved last night. SO! I decided to write out something that could be put into my first real blog, or simply kept in this notebook, never to be looked at again. Depressing, no? No. It's not. "What? I don't get it," may be your mindsponse. (Mind response. Mindsponse. Tell your friends.) Well, why would I be depressed over something as simple and meaningless to me as a little addition to my notebook? It wouldn't make any sense to allow that to upset me. That's just crazy. Allowing anything to depress you is crazy, really. Now, I know we aren't made of stone; we all have our days where nothing seems to go right. (I'm actually made of pure steel.) BUT! Why let every day be one of those days? We shouldn't. No one should ever accept unhappiness. It's not worth it. It's not beneficial in any way. You don't get paid to be depressed, you don't make more friends by being unrelentlessly sad. Be happy.
Anyway, quick break. The good thing about this class is that we get to watch The Office. ALL THE TIME!
Respect Gained: Michael (Steve Carell) understands, accepts, and adheres to the correct rules to "Shotgun." He even took the time out of his day to explain them. I've developed a strong love for this show. I'm downloading it. All of it.

Procrastinatus

I will get to posting something significant later. I wrote something earlier at the Career Center, but it was almost two pages in Word and really just a stream of all of my thoughts during the time I was typing. I might refine it later and post it onto this, but I doubt it. I'll probably end up just typing up something new and posting that.
How was my day? Boring and dull, BUT! I didn't quite fall asleep! That's a plus, right?